Serious sad face.
Something killed one of our chooks today (and not the one that was left slightly broken after the last attack, more's the pity). Apparently, just because it could. She doesn't look like she's been particularly nommed on, it just appears that one of her wings and her neck were broken. If I find out what did it, I will rip its fucking head off and stick it up its arse.
In other grumbles - Channel 7, can you go and get a big black dog up you, please? I might have appalling taste in television, but if you promise me that I can watch Bones and Criminal Minds, I would actually like to be able to watch them. Instead, my shows are pushed waaaaay out of their time-slots by mutha-humping reality programmes. Dancing with the Stars? Stars?!? Who are you kidding? D-Grade minor lifestyle-show hosts and footballer's ex-wives are not stars. I'm not even going to touch on X-Factor, mostly due to the fact that it has Kyle Sandilands in it, and then I would need to take a shower...
And to top it all off, I ran out of petrol on Friday arvo, despite the fact that the petrol light had only just come on, which usually means another 20kms. Not this time, apparently.
Sigh. I must have pushed Murphy's granny down the stairs. Moral of this story? Always check who's granny it is that you're elbowing out of the way...*
*This is a JOKE. I only push little kids down the stairs... (also a joke)
Hooray!
Voting is over. Now my letterbox and evening television watching hours can remain untainted by the misery and unadulterated muck-raking that is political advertising.
Oh, and the best bit? Putting an 11 in the little green box next to the Fred Nile Group.
Oh, and the best bit? Putting an 11 in the little green box next to the Fred Nile Group.
So true!
Quote from Scrubs, which generally don't watch, but since it comes on straight after something I do watch, sometimes some of it filters through...
"People are bastard covered bastards with bastard filling."
So true.
"People are bastard covered bastards with bastard filling."
So true.
Crappy telly... and ducklings!
Whether you loved it, or just didn't hate it, the end of Masterchef at 7.30 on weeknights has left an enormous black hole in prime-time programming. Now, there is the fine choice of The Simpsons (urgh), World's Strictest Parents (watching belligerent teens carrying on like pork chops? I don't think so), or Two and a Half Men (kill me, kill me now). Yes, yes, there is the 7.30 Report, but I want light entertainment, not thinking! Please can we have something worth watching?
On a more pleasant note, on Saturday morning, R called from the front door in an urgent kind of voice for me to come quickly. I did so, to see a pair of native ducks, like this one:
Down the street. Awwww, the cute, it makes my head asplode! It was a moment of great squee.
On a more pleasant note, on Saturday morning, R called from the front door in an urgent kind of voice for me to come quickly. I did so, to see a pair of native ducks, like this one:
herding a gaggle of fluffy little baby ducklings, like these:
Down the street. Awwww, the cute, it makes my head asplode! It was a moment of great squee.
Stuff
I've been sick. Again. This is the fourth time in 8 months, and the second time that I've needed nearly 4 days off work. This actually makes me REALLY CRANKY. I don't like being sick, and I don't like being sick so often. So, I went home from work early on Tuesday, and today, six days later, I am still not back to full health, and am getting very puffed and tired very easily. Grr.
In more positive news, I am now officially a permanent employee at my place of work, and have a new title - Tender Co-ordinator, which comes with a small pay increase (I was hoping for a large pay increase, but working for a US-based company can have some drawbacks). Hooray! I work with a pretty awesome team, and the office is only a ten minute drive away. All good.
I think I ate close to my own bodyweight in cakes and finger sandwiches yesterday afternoon. It was lovely. I like proper afternoon teas. I think I might have one for my birthday, too. Oh, and a night out at a posh restaurant. I'd like to have a big flash thing to celebrate the big number, but I don't think I can be bothered at this point...
Rusty is making dinner tonight. I swear, buying him a Jamie Oliver cookbook for Chrissy a couple of years back was a really good idea!
In more positive news, I am now officially a permanent employee at my place of work, and have a new title - Tender Co-ordinator, which comes with a small pay increase (I was hoping for a large pay increase, but working for a US-based company can have some drawbacks). Hooray! I work with a pretty awesome team, and the office is only a ten minute drive away. All good.
I think I ate close to my own bodyweight in cakes and finger sandwiches yesterday afternoon. It was lovely. I like proper afternoon teas. I think I might have one for my birthday, too. Oh, and a night out at a posh restaurant. I'd like to have a big flash thing to celebrate the big number, but I don't think I can be bothered at this point...
Rusty is making dinner tonight. I swear, buying him a Jamie Oliver cookbook for Chrissy a couple of years back was a really good idea!
Thanks for the messages of chicken solidarity, the girls appreciate them greatly... :-D
So - ChickenMissing turned up. She was just hiding, or so it appears. ChickenInjured is doing much better, she's eating and drinking, at least a bit, so she should get better pretty quickly.
We are almost certain it's a cat - there are zillions of them around here, and we've never seen or heard anything that would suggest foxes in the area. Rusty-the-ex-chicken-farmer has seen the aftermath of plenty of fox attacks, and he reckons it's quite a different M.O. This is good, cos I reckon a fox would be more likely to come back and try again.
Anyways, we think that it will all come good in the end.
So - ChickenMissing turned up. She was just hiding, or so it appears. ChickenInjured is doing much better, she's eating and drinking, at least a bit, so she should get better pretty quickly.
We are almost certain it's a cat - there are zillions of them around here, and we've never seen or heard anything that would suggest foxes in the area. Rusty-the-ex-chicken-farmer has seen the aftermath of plenty of fox attacks, and he reckons it's quite a different M.O. This is good, cos I reckon a fox would be more likely to come back and try again.
Anyways, we think that it will all come good in the end.
Chicken troubles
They've been doing so well up until now...
Last night seems to have become a turning point, though. At about 10 or so, Rusty went down to the garage to get something, and discovered that one of the girls was out of the enclosed portion of the yard, and couldn't get back in. It was dark, and she was cold and alone (awww), so R put her in the coop, admonishing her that if she had stayed where she was supposed to, she wouldn't be in this predicament.
In the wee small hours, R was woken up by the sound of the chickens being attacked by something. He was sleeping in the spare room at the back of the house (he wanted to get up at 5am, and he knows how grumpy I am at being woken at oh-god o'clock, only to have the snooze button used 15 times...) which is just as well. He opened the back door, at which the @$%&*!ing offender scarpered, fortunately not taking one of our chooks with it. The morning showed the coop full of feathers, and one of the girls injured and in shock. She seems to be a lot better this arvo, though, so she should be ok. We haven't been locking them in the coop, because we haven't needed to - they take themselves to bed at bed time, and no-one has bothered them in all the time we've had them. The effing cats in this neighbourhood, who wander all over the effing place, into my effing house to eat my cats' effiing food, and now trying to eat my effing chickens as well... Not happy, Jan.
Rusty got home this arvo, and went out to check on the chooks. I got home, had a look at Injured Chook, and then realised there were only 3. "They were all here when I got home!" Rusty exclaimed, "That was only half an hour ago!"
So the tally stands at one injured (although on the mend) and one missing. They all seem to have been through enough trauma that they are not laying.
Sigh. Obviously a sacrifice needs to be made to the Chicken Gods, or something. Good thing we're having lamb for dinner, eh?
Last night seems to have become a turning point, though. At about 10 or so, Rusty went down to the garage to get something, and discovered that one of the girls was out of the enclosed portion of the yard, and couldn't get back in. It was dark, and she was cold and alone (awww), so R put her in the coop, admonishing her that if she had stayed where she was supposed to, she wouldn't be in this predicament.
In the wee small hours, R was woken up by the sound of the chickens being attacked by something. He was sleeping in the spare room at the back of the house (he wanted to get up at 5am, and he knows how grumpy I am at being woken at oh-god o'clock, only to have the snooze button used 15 times...) which is just as well. He opened the back door, at which the @$%&*!ing offender scarpered, fortunately not taking one of our chooks with it. The morning showed the coop full of feathers, and one of the girls injured and in shock. She seems to be a lot better this arvo, though, so she should be ok. We haven't been locking them in the coop, because we haven't needed to - they take themselves to bed at bed time, and no-one has bothered them in all the time we've had them. The effing cats in this neighbourhood, who wander all over the effing place, into my effing house to eat my cats' effiing food, and now trying to eat my effing chickens as well... Not happy, Jan.
Rusty got home this arvo, and went out to check on the chooks. I got home, had a look at Injured Chook, and then realised there were only 3. "They were all here when I got home!" Rusty exclaimed, "That was only half an hour ago!"
So the tally stands at one injured (although on the mend) and one missing. They all seem to have been through enough trauma that they are not laying.
Sigh. Obviously a sacrifice needs to be made to the Chicken Gods, or something. Good thing we're having lamb for dinner, eh?
We're shifting into high gear with this totally ass rapingly awesome hyper ball gargling Spiderman stick shift knob modification
I laughed so hard I nearly passed out. Regrets y is bad, bad, bad for my ability to not spend my whole life on the interwebs, laughing at the amazing lack of talent so many "crafters" possess.
The totally awesome Spiderman Shite-Mobile takes, not just the cake, but the whole goddamn patisserie.
The totally awesome Spiderman Shite-Mobile takes, not just the cake, but the whole goddamn patisserie.
What's wrong with this picture?
I went to an all-day finance meeting today that didn't suck.
No, I don't really believe it either.
There were also team building exercises that also did not suck. No really, I'm not lying!
The actual financial part of the meeting was actually relatively brief, and against all the laws of accountancy, our financial controller is a very good public speaker - he is engaging, well spoken and interesting. At least, my eyes don't slide instantly shut upon hearing the words "forecast", "budget" or "projected growth".
The team building exercises were very simple, and surprisingly effective. The first one had everyone standing up, and ready to move about the room. You shook the hand of the person next to you, and you told them your name, and they told you theirs. Then you said their name, and they said yours. And then you moved on to the next person, and so on around the room. It was all over in 5 minutes, pushed no-one too far out of their comfort zone, and actually got us to meet other people in the greater department.
We were divided into teams for the next team building exercise (which involved building a tower out of spaghetti, masking tape and string, and putting a marshmallow on the top (ours sagged gracefully over until it deposited the marshmallow onto the table - the idea was to build the highest one. And no, before you ask, I don't know what this has to do with finance...), and the method of choosing the teams was kinda nifty. Everyone picked a piece of puzzle out of a box - there were 6 pieces to each puzzle, and about 6 puzzles - and you had to find the people with the other pieces to your puzzle. The teams not only found all of their members, but all put their puzzles together to see the picture, completely spontaneously. It actually made a fantastic ice breaker, and provided a really good rallying point, if you will, for interaction.
I know that i am starting to sound like I have got religion - don't fret, I'm still the same old miserable cynic that I've always been! I am, however, very pleasantly surprised to discover that it is possible to have a positive experience at an all-day, team building finance event.
Who knew?
No, I don't really believe it either.
There were also team building exercises that also did not suck. No really, I'm not lying!
The actual financial part of the meeting was actually relatively brief, and against all the laws of accountancy, our financial controller is a very good public speaker - he is engaging, well spoken and interesting. At least, my eyes don't slide instantly shut upon hearing the words "forecast", "budget" or "projected growth".
The team building exercises were very simple, and surprisingly effective. The first one had everyone standing up, and ready to move about the room. You shook the hand of the person next to you, and you told them your name, and they told you theirs. Then you said their name, and they said yours. And then you moved on to the next person, and so on around the room. It was all over in 5 minutes, pushed no-one too far out of their comfort zone, and actually got us to meet other people in the greater department.
We were divided into teams for the next team building exercise (which involved building a tower out of spaghetti, masking tape and string, and putting a marshmallow on the top (ours sagged gracefully over until it deposited the marshmallow onto the table - the idea was to build the highest one. And no, before you ask, I don't know what this has to do with finance...), and the method of choosing the teams was kinda nifty. Everyone picked a piece of puzzle out of a box - there were 6 pieces to each puzzle, and about 6 puzzles - and you had to find the people with the other pieces to your puzzle. The teams not only found all of their members, but all put their puzzles together to see the picture, completely spontaneously. It actually made a fantastic ice breaker, and provided a really good rallying point, if you will, for interaction.
I know that i am starting to sound like I have got religion - don't fret, I'm still the same old miserable cynic that I've always been! I am, however, very pleasantly surprised to discover that it is possible to have a positive experience at an all-day, team building finance event.
Who knew?
I like my entertainment to be light and fluffy...
That's not so much of what I got tonight, though. (Warning: once you get to the bit about SVU, I start talking about rape.)
Some of it was, of course. It's not possible to watch Glee when they are doing a Lady Gaga special, and not get a lot of fluff. But the writers are really good at addressing some interesting social issues.
The part that I found most touching was the way that Kurt's dad really stood up for him, his sexuality, and his lifestyle choice. That he was prepared to risk his own happiness with a woman that he cares about in order to protect his gay son. Now this guy is a mechanic, the kind who wears a trucker's cap and one of those sleeveless puffer jackets. He's a man's man. But whoo baby, don't fuck with his family. It's one of the things that Glee does really well - it really portrays "alternative" lifestyle choices as being perfectly valid, even desirable, which is seven kinds of awesome in my opinion.
What I really struggled with tonight was SVU. I used to watch it a lot, and then kinda got over it a bit, and have been watching it a bit recently, mostly because there's nothing else on. The case on tonight's show was a rape, as many of them are. One of the characters was a witness to the rape, and was reluctant to testify because she was in the US illegally. Her story came out in rather dramatic detail during the trail, and it was all I could do to keep it together.
She was a refugee from the Congo, an area rife with conflict. Rebels had forced her way into her home, and raped her and her five year old daughter, who then dies. Her husband then throws her out, because he can't stand the shame. She is later picked up and taken to one of the camps of the rebel militia, where she, and many other women, are beaten, tortured and raped, over and over again. She tells of how she was penetrated with guns, and that once one of the men doing this pulled the trigger.
I know that this is a TV drama, and is a fictional story. But really, we all know that none of this shit is made up. We all know that anything that happens on shows like this has happened, many times, to many people. It does my head in, big time. Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with human beings?
Argh - sorry for the major downer. It was just one of those things I had to share, y'know?
Anyways, I'm off to bed now. I might need some brainless fluff to read to clear my head... hmm, pity I only have book number two of the Twilight series (and that was a joke present, and all), that would certainly fit the bill.
Some of it was, of course. It's not possible to watch Glee when they are doing a Lady Gaga special, and not get a lot of fluff. But the writers are really good at addressing some interesting social issues.
The part that I found most touching was the way that Kurt's dad really stood up for him, his sexuality, and his lifestyle choice. That he was prepared to risk his own happiness with a woman that he cares about in order to protect his gay son. Now this guy is a mechanic, the kind who wears a trucker's cap and one of those sleeveless puffer jackets. He's a man's man. But whoo baby, don't fuck with his family. It's one of the things that Glee does really well - it really portrays "alternative" lifestyle choices as being perfectly valid, even desirable, which is seven kinds of awesome in my opinion.
What I really struggled with tonight was SVU. I used to watch it a lot, and then kinda got over it a bit, and have been watching it a bit recently, mostly because there's nothing else on. The case on tonight's show was a rape, as many of them are. One of the characters was a witness to the rape, and was reluctant to testify because she was in the US illegally. Her story came out in rather dramatic detail during the trail, and it was all I could do to keep it together.
She was a refugee from the Congo, an area rife with conflict. Rebels had forced her way into her home, and raped her and her five year old daughter, who then dies. Her husband then throws her out, because he can't stand the shame. She is later picked up and taken to one of the camps of the rebel militia, where she, and many other women, are beaten, tortured and raped, over and over again. She tells of how she was penetrated with guns, and that once one of the men doing this pulled the trigger.
I know that this is a TV drama, and is a fictional story. But really, we all know that none of this shit is made up. We all know that anything that happens on shows like this has happened, many times, to many people. It does my head in, big time. Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with human beings?
Argh - sorry for the major downer. It was just one of those things I had to share, y'know?
Anyways, I'm off to bed now. I might need some brainless fluff to read to clear my head... hmm, pity I only have book number two of the Twilight series (and that was a joke present, and all), that would certainly fit the bill.
Blergh
I'z sick. Thanks to the snot monster who has appropriated my form and is now residing in my dressing gown and fluffy slippers. Thanks a lot.
On the plus side, I got a lot of sleep today...
On the plus side, I got a lot of sleep today...
Because Snuggies are, like, sooo five minutes ago...
Think Snuggies are stupid? Yeah, me too.
But these... these would be so totally... well, stupid too.
But these... these would be so totally... well, stupid too.
Meet the Lazypatch Duvet Suit. Yup, that's a doona that you wear like a pair of jammies. Apparently, they are the perfect Mother's Day gift, according to the ad that played late at night on Go, which goes to show what their advertising budget is. They will cost you, however, around $150, which makes them about 10 times the cost of your regular KMart flannelette pjs. And you get to look like a huge twonk in the process! Hooray!
Mmm, duvet suit - for when you just don't feel Michelin Man enough in your regular jimmy-jams.
Timing is paramount...
Apparently, I have not only been kicking Murphy's dog, but this time I pushed his granny down the stairs as well, because that bastard has it in for me.
Our hot water heater has gone the way of the dodo. Dead as a doornail. Pushing up daisies. Etc, et-bloody-cetera.
It chose to sing it's swan song the day after the weather finally realised that it's not summer any more, right at the time when a cold shower becomes actively unbearable. See what I mean? Murphy, you bastard, bugger off and bother someone else for a while, will you?
On the plus side, this has precipitated our prospective plan to give the old and expensive-to-run electric storage system the ole heave-ho, and get LPG shipped in. Oh yeah, we don't have a natural gas main up our street, or this would have been done years ago... On the less than plus side, this is a two-and-a-half grand spend we hadn't counted on. Poo. Still, I am looking forward to instantaneous gas hot water, coming from a heater that is no more than two metres away from the taps, rather than ten (yup, the person who designed our house was an idiot).
In the meantime, it's a good thing I got in all that practice bathing in a bucket at Festival. I'm really hoping that this week will not end with me in a miasma of my own unwashedness. Ew.
Our hot water heater has gone the way of the dodo. Dead as a doornail. Pushing up daisies. Etc, et-bloody-cetera.
It chose to sing it's swan song the day after the weather finally realised that it's not summer any more, right at the time when a cold shower becomes actively unbearable. See what I mean? Murphy, you bastard, bugger off and bother someone else for a while, will you?
On the plus side, this has precipitated our prospective plan to give the old and expensive-to-run electric storage system the ole heave-ho, and get LPG shipped in. Oh yeah, we don't have a natural gas main up our street, or this would have been done years ago... On the less than plus side, this is a two-and-a-half grand spend we hadn't counted on. Poo. Still, I am looking forward to instantaneous gas hot water, coming from a heater that is no more than two metres away from the taps, rather than ten (yup, the person who designed our house was an idiot).
In the meantime, it's a good thing I got in all that practice bathing in a bucket at Festival. I'm really hoping that this week will not end with me in a miasma of my own unwashedness. Ew.
Festival wrap up
Things to remember from this year, and things to remember for next year...
The weather was gorgeous. The days weren't anywhere near as hot as they could have been, and the only real rain was Saturday and Monday nights. The coffee shop did quite well - all the cakes went, with a day and a half to spare. I went through 2 1/2 kilos of coffee, about 4 tea bags (out of 400, I guess I will be drinking a lot of tea in the coming weeks) and a moderate amount of hot chocolate. I'm pretty sure my costs were covered, and it paid for Rusty and my festival fees, with a bit left over. I think the prices were about right, but I would make the tea cheaper for next year. I would like to have had more staff, as I felt like I was a bit nailed down, and really didn't get to spend much time in the campsite at all. Rusty did seem to really enjoy working the coffee shop though, so maybe getting him more involved would be a good idea. At least next year he won't need to leave site for half of Saturday to go and pick up his new motorbike like he did this year.
Things to remember and take note of:
The weather was gorgeous. The days weren't anywhere near as hot as they could have been, and the only real rain was Saturday and Monday nights. The coffee shop did quite well - all the cakes went, with a day and a half to spare. I went through 2 1/2 kilos of coffee, about 4 tea bags (out of 400, I guess I will be drinking a lot of tea in the coming weeks) and a moderate amount of hot chocolate. I'm pretty sure my costs were covered, and it paid for Rusty and my festival fees, with a bit left over. I think the prices were about right, but I would make the tea cheaper for next year. I would like to have had more staff, as I felt like I was a bit nailed down, and really didn't get to spend much time in the campsite at all. Rusty did seem to really enjoy working the coffee shop though, so maybe getting him more involved would be a good idea. At least next year he won't need to leave site for half of Saturday to go and pick up his new motorbike like he did this year.
Things to remember and take note of:
- 3 kilos of coffee might be enough. Depends on whether I think it will do a lot better next year.
- I ran out of orange & almond cakes with time to spare. There were 6 dozen of them...
- I ran out of Gateau Breton with time to spare. There were 3, and I think they were cut into twelfths.
- The Prince biscuits with ginger in them are a much better idea than Prince biscuits with caraway seeds in them. Went through very nearly 2 batches.
- The Digby's didn't do so well. I reckon 2 batches would be enough.
- Only buy small packets of tea, and not boxes of 100.
- The double burner and 2 coffee pots worked well. Seemed like a good plan.
On a personal note - I MUST make myself a comfy throw-on garment. I'm thinking that a waffenrock would work well. I just need something that doesn't need a bunch of lacing and primping and kirtling and fidgeting with. Something non binding for when the tight bodices get to be too much and for standing around the campsite in the morning in.
I might add some more to this - it's more as a reminder for me than anything else. I can type faster than I can write longhand, and this way it won't get "put into a safe place" never to be seen again...
Odd
You know how sometimes things just strike you as a bit odd? Yeah, well here's one:
I was trolling through my favourite sites on the (or should that be teh) Cheezeburger network, and I found something that piqued my interest. I think it was on Very Demotivational (but I'm not entirely sure now), that I saw a post that was of Ash from the Evil Dead movies* who is played by Bruce Campbell . I was sooooo in lurve with Bruce when I was in my very early twenties, and with the advent of the interwebs and Wikipedia, I can look him up and remember the glory days.
The odd bit? When I typed "bruce" into Google, the first line on the autocomplete bit was, in fact, Bruce Campbell! Now, of all of the famous Bruce's in the history of the world, I would not have thought that Mr. Campbell would rate quite that high on an internet search. Surely Bruce Lee would be the one that would spring to mind straight off the bat. Odd.
* My all time favourite quote, and I mean ALL TIME, is from Evil Dead 2, which is a classic in the genre. Ash, our hero, has just made mincemeat of his girlfriend with a petrol powered gardening tool after she became totally possessed, and he is looking into the mirror in an attempt to save his dwindling sanity. "I'm... fine" he says to his reflection. His reflection then leaps from the mirror and grabs him by the throat. "I don't think so. We just cut up our girlfriend with a chainsaw. Does that sound 'fine'?" You can see it here if you are interested in taking a peek into my psyche...
I was trolling through my favourite sites on the (or should that be teh) Cheezeburger network, and I found something that piqued my interest. I think it was on Very Demotivational (but I'm not entirely sure now), that I saw a post that was of Ash from the Evil Dead movies* who is played by Bruce Campbell . I was sooooo in lurve with Bruce when I was in my very early twenties, and with the advent of the interwebs and Wikipedia, I can look him up and remember the glory days.
The odd bit? When I typed "bruce" into Google, the first line on the autocomplete bit was, in fact, Bruce Campbell! Now, of all of the famous Bruce's in the history of the world, I would not have thought that Mr. Campbell would rate quite that high on an internet search. Surely Bruce Lee would be the one that would spring to mind straight off the bat. Odd.
* My all time favourite quote, and I mean ALL TIME, is from Evil Dead 2, which is a classic in the genre. Ash, our hero, has just made mincemeat of his girlfriend with a petrol powered gardening tool after she became totally possessed, and he is looking into the mirror in an attempt to save his dwindling sanity. "I'm... fine" he says to his reflection. His reflection then leaps from the mirror and grabs him by the throat. "I don't think so. We just cut up our girlfriend with a chainsaw. Does that sound 'fine'?" You can see it here if you are interested in taking a peek into my psyche...
Bloody bugger shit poo bum...
You know what really makes me cranky? The fact that I am writing this at one o'clock on Thursday morning. Not awake to do the writing by choice, you understand, just awake. All week I have fallen asleep with a book in my hand, but as soon as I put the bloody thing down and turn off the light... Ping! Eyes go open and I am wide awake. For hours. Tonight is worse than usual.
This will mean that I am tired and out of sorts again tomorrow, which is really not what one needs when one is facing a killer week at work.
I've had enough of the bloody sleep issues - you can bugger off now please!
This will mean that I am tired and out of sorts again tomorrow, which is really not what one needs when one is facing a killer week at work.
I've had enough of the bloody sleep issues - you can bugger off now please!
Blergh! Moisture Infused Pork Is Crap!
Am I the only one who thinks that "moisture infused pork" is smeg? I bought a couple of pork steaks a couple of months back, and allowed myself to be talked into the moisture infused version, on the info provided that they were "tastier, juicier, more succulent and easier to cook". Sounds great - although in the back of my mind a little voice was saying "it's just soaked in water, you moron! Don't you rant about how meat is being soaked in water to make it heavier, and therefore better value for the supplier? Don't you? Huh?!?"
I cooked it up that night, and served it forth with veggies and gravy or sauce of some kind, and I was very, very disappointed. The meat was, as promised, juicy and succulent. It was also really salty (that would be on account of the brine), really lacking in any other flavour, and the texture... well, the texture is a whole 'nother story. Have you ever had reconstituted meat? When they have taken "genuine pig parts" (or other animal) ground it up and reformed it into a meat-like product? Yup, I think everyone has. You know how it's a little bit... spongy? Yup, well that's what the "moisture infused pork" was like. Obviously the brine is forced into the meat under pressure, or it would just cook out. This high pressure "infusion" makes the meat spongy. In hindsight, it seems pretty obvious to me. Pity I wasted a perfectly good meal on it.
The reason I bring this up now is that I popped into the shopping centre at Winston Hills on the way home from work, and they have a nice butcher there. Not one of the really high-end ones, but they seem to have a good quality of product. I was going to buy some pork, until I realised that (in small, hard to read writing) all of the little plastic signs with the cut of pork and the price on them were labelled "moisture infused". So I asked the chap if all of their pork was so. Yes, says he. Ugh, says I. He tried rather half-heartedly to tell me that he has tried it and it's very nice, but I think he could see that I wasn't going to be convinced. So I sold my soul and went and bought some at Coles (for which I will no doubt burn in the fiery pits of hell for all eternity)
What really worries me is that this is the "future" for all pork. I did a Google search on the subject, and nearly all of it was industry stuff, and overwhelmingly positive, or blogs, and overwhelmingly positive. I did find one blog that panned the whole idea a bit, but only one site in ten pages of entries. That's really worrisome. Funnily enough, Speedy, if you read this, there were comments from you on this blog. Even on the interwebz, it's a small world.
I know that some of you are prolly thinking "SERVE YOU RIGHT, YOU HEINOUS BITCH! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW PIGS ARE REARED FOR MEAT PRODUCTION THESE DAYS?!?". And you would be right again. I just haven't been able to wean myself off the meat of the magical pig just yet, and haven't found a free-range pork supplier anywhere in the area.
Why do they keep fucking with our food? Can't it just be food again? Why does it have to be science?
Anyone?
Anyone?!?
I cooked it up that night, and served it forth with veggies and gravy or sauce of some kind, and I was very, very disappointed. The meat was, as promised, juicy and succulent. It was also really salty (that would be on account of the brine), really lacking in any other flavour, and the texture... well, the texture is a whole 'nother story. Have you ever had reconstituted meat? When they have taken "genuine pig parts" (or other animal) ground it up and reformed it into a meat-like product? Yup, I think everyone has. You know how it's a little bit... spongy? Yup, well that's what the "moisture infused pork" was like. Obviously the brine is forced into the meat under pressure, or it would just cook out. This high pressure "infusion" makes the meat spongy. In hindsight, it seems pretty obvious to me. Pity I wasted a perfectly good meal on it.
The reason I bring this up now is that I popped into the shopping centre at Winston Hills on the way home from work, and they have a nice butcher there. Not one of the really high-end ones, but they seem to have a good quality of product. I was going to buy some pork, until I realised that (in small, hard to read writing) all of the little plastic signs with the cut of pork and the price on them were labelled "moisture infused". So I asked the chap if all of their pork was so. Yes, says he. Ugh, says I. He tried rather half-heartedly to tell me that he has tried it and it's very nice, but I think he could see that I wasn't going to be convinced. So I sold my soul and went and bought some at Coles (for which I will no doubt burn in the fiery pits of hell for all eternity)
What really worries me is that this is the "future" for all pork. I did a Google search on the subject, and nearly all of it was industry stuff, and overwhelmingly positive, or blogs, and overwhelmingly positive. I did find one blog that panned the whole idea a bit, but only one site in ten pages of entries. That's really worrisome. Funnily enough, Speedy, if you read this, there were comments from you on this blog. Even on the interwebz, it's a small world.
I know that some of you are prolly thinking "SERVE YOU RIGHT, YOU HEINOUS BITCH! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW PIGS ARE REARED FOR MEAT PRODUCTION THESE DAYS?!?". And you would be right again. I just haven't been able to wean myself off the meat of the magical pig just yet, and haven't found a free-range pork supplier anywhere in the area.
Why do they keep fucking with our food? Can't it just be food again? Why does it have to be science?
Anyone?
Anyone?!?
Eek!
I went to sit on the couch in front of the telly (and the fan, more importantly) and trim up some boning and slide it into the freshly sewn channels. It's not the boning I wanted to use, of course, but that standard plastic bridal boning that we all used to use before we discovered the good stuff. I'm just using more of it than the good stuff. I wandered into the living room, but had not even rounded the telly yet when I heard the distinctive, sexed up saxaphone sounds of Lethal Weapon. "Aargh!" I said loudly, "what's this shit doing on again?" Yep, one of the other 400 movies made in this franchise had been on last week, and Rusty had watched that too.
I couldn't even bear to be in the same rooms as such visual garbage. Even from here (the land of Spar-Oom) I can hear the endless screaming and carrying on like pork-chops. Gag.
I couldn't even bear to be in the same rooms as such visual garbage. Even from here (the land of Spar-Oom) I can hear the endless screaming and carrying on like pork-chops. Gag.
I might call mine Larry...
A couple of weeks ago on afternoon radio on Triple J, there was some discussion, including sound bites, about Jennifer Love Hewitt getting Vagazzled. According the partial interview with her that they played on the Js, a friend of hers put Swarovski crystals on her "precious lady" (her ghastly terminology, not mine) and that it was "like a disco ball down there". Please, please don't ask me any questions about how or which er... specific area - I pondered this briefly until I realised that I was actually taking time to think about JLH's vagina, and I changed my train of thought very quickly. (Aaargh! Ponies! Rainbows! Pretty butterflies!) Overall it was mildly interesting in that "why on earth would you bother" kind of way, and had a reasonable amusement factor.
It must have sparked further discussion on the Jays that I missed, as they were playing a bunch of soundbites this arvo, generally of people saying various euphemisms for the female genitalia, including a reference to having it made all sparkly - gemitalia. There was one that made me laugh out loud though, which is still making me a bit giggly...
... Lawrence of Alabia.
*guffaw*
Yep, it's lame, but it's still funny.
It must have sparked further discussion on the Jays that I missed, as they were playing a bunch of soundbites this arvo, generally of people saying various euphemisms for the female genitalia, including a reference to having it made all sparkly - gemitalia. There was one that made me laugh out loud though, which is still making me a bit giggly...
... Lawrence of Alabia.
*guffaw*
Yep, it's lame, but it's still funny.
Grump
Hmph! I was going to do some frocking tonight, but instead I got to do the reeve report. Woo-hoo.
Oh, and I've lost my good plastic boning, which is making frockage more difficult than it needs to be.
All in all, pretty grumpy.
Oh, and I've lost my good plastic boning, which is making frockage more difficult than it needs to be.
All in all, pretty grumpy.
